Dividing the Divorced Way…Kids and College Common Answers

College Expenses and Child Support FAQ.
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Q: My child wants to go to a private college, but there’s a great public college just down the road. Will I be responsible for private tuition, when public tuition is a cheaper option?

A: Often the question arises regarding the cost of private vs. public tuition. There are several factors a court must consider before allowing a child to receive aid for higher tuition costs, when a less expensive and comparable public college is available. Check with a family law attorney in your area for state-specific cases.

Q: What about secondary education after college? Will I be required to pay for my child’s professional studies (e.g. graduate, business or law school)?

A: Again, it depends on a variety of factors, such as grades, expectations of you and your ex, if you’ve always imagined your kids attending graduate school, etc.

Q: When should I apply for college expense support?

A: Ideally — you would make the application after your child has applied to college but before they’ve decided where they’d like to go.

Q: Will the support go to me, my ex-spouse, or my child?

A: Support will go to the spouse, not the child. A child or student still comes home on breaks and in the summer. Since there is still some cost to maintaining the residence for the child to come home, the parent of primary residence will likely collect.

As with most issues in family law, a child’s parents are more capable to decide their child’s educational needs and interests, factoring a child’s personality and preference, than a court. However, when an agreement cannot be reached, it may be necessary to check with a family law attorney.

BE HOPE AND STRENGTH IN YOUR FAMILY

Wiether we know it or not we live in a society that has given up, plauged by debt, fear and the raising of our children without a cycle of abuse. We’ve as a people have come so far and so small at the same time. The Jones Mentality has infected and overwhelmed a generation that thinks everything should be given to them without the hard work and sacrafice that goes with it.

It’s easy to begin to feel that all hope is gone. Families are readily willing to give up hope and exchange fear for divorce. We are not taught, in all our schooling how to raise a family and get through the hard times of marriage. Mainly because of the age we are in marriages are suffering because neither party wants to given in and get stuck in a cycle of abusive power struggling. Other may think the grass is greener on the otherside and for some that may be the case. But REAL LOVE IN A MARRIAGE will always “will-out”. Saving our family is not something you can NEVER give – in for. Try setting some communicaton limits and practice just listening without judgment and anger. If your spouse is angery, try to listen and ask or discipher why they are really mad. Usually its not about what you are talking about (especially women) keep it keenly and short with a clear understanding for your partner. Stick to the truth and don’t try embellish sometimes the plain old truth is so much more revealing. If your the listener, LISTEN!; it doesn’t cost you a thing and see your part in the action or fault. Not taking responsiblity and smothering your partner with righteousness and blame will not inspire truth or honesty or trust.

REBUILDING YOUR LIFE’S PLAN

REBUILDING YOUR LIFES PLAN…AFTER SEPERATION AND DIVORCE!

Most people leave for many ideas of which are rooted in anger; without really knowing what is at the root of that anger. While many will offer advice that seems right in a broad spectrum to cover many divorce issues, some may fit but most don’t come close for one main reason.

No situation is the same.

Take my word as a woman who took many years to try to “fix” what’s wrong; when suddenly in a dream it came to me that it wasn’t “fixing” the answer. Healing is.

People often forget in the anger to “listen” to their partner and that “hearing” is NOT THE SAME THING!

Love has its roots in good intentions, yet in anger or pain, it can turn into obsession or an addiction you can’t let go of no matter what your heart and mind is telling you. And your relationship can fall into patterns and predictable traps. Which can make the relationship more un-healthy then what it started with if the patterns when created where recognized and faced honestly.

However its easy to say and even harder to do because people when in love are not “reasonable” and many make the mistake of counseling with family and friends who use their own personal relationships to offer advice instead of just listening so you can talk through what is the real issues.

In this day and age people find it easy to look at divorce to solve their issues. Not considering where their soul, heart, or their own feelings lie. The only real way to find where you are is taking time, space and setting down with a good blank diary and start at the beginning. You can’t make or force your will on your partner, but you CAN help them understand without argument why you feel the way you do.

I never advocate one way or another on divorce or staying with a spouse I’ve never met. Marriage is ordained by the blood of God and the only recognized relationship between man and woman. But let me say this, “Listening” not “Hearing” and “Healing” is your objective nothing more.

I learned through the same process, that even though my love was honest it was obsessive and built on the wrong foundations. However after 15 years I decided because of my illness that I didn’t want to spend the little life I have left trying to fight through issues I wanted to heal yet He didn’t want changed.

But I say again, every situation is different and you need to make your decision about you and rebuild you Life’s Plan with you in charge. Everyone has a story to tell, past or present the clue is to let it go, again easier said then done, but you have to want it ore then anything else. Its going to be hard, you will cry, pray beg, get angry but DON’T fight it. Its apart of the healing and your key to knowing you and what is good for you. Don’t let it break you jet let it reassure your humanity and whatever you do or don’t believe in either call on that God / Goddess or your inner spirit and fight only for your survival.